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"Cud"
An original screenplay by Steve Reece
Based on an idea by Ron Siwica
FAde In:
1 EXT FARNSWOOD FARM/BARN YARD - DAY 1 A PICTURE-PERFECT FLORIDA MORNING: GATORS CROAKING. FOG LIFTING. A CRANE SWOOPS LOW OVER THE FARNSWOOD FARM. sacks of WEAVER’S BLUE CATTLE FEED are piled high in the bed of a pickup truck. JACK FARNSWOOD and JULIA GARCIA, farmhand, unload sacks and stack them on the ground. A small dog cocks his head and whines as they work. jack What’s the matter, Honey Babe? Honey Babe sniffs a bag; claws open a large hole and digs until he completely disappears into the bag. jack Are you crazy? Get out of there! Jack and Julia laugh as Honey Babe frantically slings feed out of the bag. Julia Perro loco! The laughing stops when Honey Babe comes out of the bag gnawing a large bone.
2 INT BARN – DAY 2 SALLY FARNSWOOD 12 years old, wears iPod headphones and hums “Jesus Loves Me” as she milks BOSSIE, a docile-appearing dairy cow. Sally squirts milk into a metal pale in beat with the music. Unnoticed by the girl, the milk starts changing colors, from white to a bright fluorescent green. Bossie’s feed has run out. Large fangs are revealed as she hungrily licks the bottom of the wooden feeder. Green cud burns the hay where it drips.
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2 continued 2 Sally finishes milking and stands, pats Bossie’s shoulder and removes her headphones. sally That’s a girl, Bossie. You did a good job today. Bossie turns and nudges Sally’s arm. sally She’s a pretty girl. She pats the cow’s head, not noticing glowing red eyes. Bossie sniffs Sally’s ribs, tickling her. sally What’re you doing? She giggles. Suddenly, Bossie chomps down on Sally’s arm and starts gnawing. Sally screams. She can’t pull her arm from the cow’s jaws. She bangs Bossie’s head as hard as she can. sally Daddy! A shot rings out. Bossie drops. Sally faints across Bossie’s body, blood pouring from her mangled arm. Jack rushes to her. Jack I need to make a tourniquet! Julia grabs a nearby horse rein and tosses it to him. Julia Here! What happened? jack Craziest thing I ever saw, Bossie was gnawing on her arm. I had no choice but to shoot her. Julia Rabies?
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2 continued 2 jack I don’t know. He notices Bossie’s fangs. jack Look at that! That’s a little more than rabies. julia Dios mio! She crosses herself. Jack carries Sally out of the barn. Julia clears a path. In the BACKGROUND: Bossie’s tail twitches as she comes back to life.
3 EXT FARNSWOOD FARM/BARN YARD - DAY 3 Julia opens the pickup door and Jack gently straps her in. Julia You want me to bury Bossie? jack No. They’ll need to make tests. Just continue with the fence mending. I’ll call you later and let you know how she’s doing. Julia Okay, jefe. Good luck. Jack floors the gas pedal.
4 EXT FARNSWOOD FARM/COW PASTURE – day 4 Julia’s horse is tied to the fence. Nearby, Bossie munches grass and contentedly chews her cud. Down the fence line, Julia is stretching a break in the barb wire. She cranks the fence stretcher tight and pulls out a pair of side cutters. Her horse reaches through the fence and pulls wild flowers from the other side. Bossie goes down for another bite of grass. GLOWING FANGS are revealed as she opens her mouth. continued 4 continued 4 SUDDENLY, she lifts her head and sniffs the wind. She snorts. COW’S POV: Julia is concentrating on twisting together two stubborn strands of wire. Bossie stomps the earth and transforms from gentle milk cow into a charging death machine, heading straight for the Julia as she continues bent over her work. The wire is pulled tight. She gives it one more twist. SUDDENLY, the wire snaps and whips across her horse. Julia’s hand has a tear across the palm. She starts for her horse and notices the charging milk cow. Julia Bossie?!! Hijole! The horse is terrified of the cow and is frantically trying to free herself. Barb-wire slashes her forelegs. Bossie stops and paws the earth. She proudly raises her head and displays her fangs. Burning red eyes reflect hell’s ancient fire. Thick cud oozes from slobbering cow lips that glow a fluorescent green. She rears back on two hind legs: bossie Moo. Julia eyes the rifle holstered in the horse’s saddle. She crosses to the other side of the fence and creeps along the line toward the horse: Julia Easy, girl… Bossie is keeping a sharp watch and takes a step toward Julia. Julia fakes a step to the right then quickly back to the left. The cow is momentarily confused and Julia takes off. The cow puts down her head and digs in her hooves. It’s a mad dash to the horse. continued 4 continued 4 Julia makes a home-plate slide through thick cow manure with side cutters in hand. In the nick of time, she cuts the horse free and leaps into the saddle. She pulls the rifle from its holster and fires a shot. She misses. Bossie stops in her tracks. Julia spins the horse and races toward the barn. In the BACKGROUND, Bossie follows them in, just out of range. Just behind her, another cow joins her, stamping hooves. Julia fires off another round. She hits the new cow squarely between the eyes. The cow drops with a thud. Bossie charges.
5 INT BARN – DAY 5 Julia gallops into the barn, leaps off her horse and rushes to slam the door. Just before it closes, we see Bossie coming over the crest of the hill. Out-of-breath, she pulls the saddle off the horse and secures her in a pen. She finds a box of bullets in the saddle bag and reloads her rifle. She goes a window and slowly cracks it open. Everything is silent, save her own heavy breathing. She hears a sound just outside and places her ear against the barn door, holding her breath. cut to:
6 EXT BARN – DAY 6 Bossie has her ear pressed against the barn door exactly opposite of Julia’s ear. She also holds her breath as she listens.
7 INT BARN – DAY 7 Julia returns to the open window and pokes her head outside for a good look. REAR ANGLE: SUDDENLY, Julia’s legs flare straight out and kick wildly as she gives her final scream.
8 EXT BARN WINDOW – DAY 8 A nearby swamp bird sends out a morning cry. A single cow contentedly chews her cud. Julia Garcia’s headless body bleeds across a splintered window sill. Bossie takes another bite.
9 INT COW POKERS ASSOCIATION NAT’L HEADQUARTERS – DAY 9 Cowboy hats are the rule. cigar smoke fills the room. The ASSOCIATION PRESIDENT, F.U. WEAVER, bangs his gavel. F.u. weaver Gentlemen! Gentlemen, please! I hold in my hands, the latest government report showing that mad cow disease has been virtually eliminated! The Cowboys break into applause. F.u. weaver At the same time, we are producing twice the beef at half the cost! He receives a standing ovation.
10 INT BULLSVILLE HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY 10 Jack strokes Sally’s hair. She sleeps a restless sleep. Her arm is heavily bandaged and an I.V. tube stretches from her other arm. The DOCTOR passes a prescription to the NURSE. doctor A hundred milligrams every 4 hours… nurse Yes, Doctor. Poor thing… continued 10 continued 10 jack I should have been with her. I forget sometimes she’s still just a little girl. I’m supposed to protect her… The Doctor puts his arm around Jack’s shoulders. doctor She’s stronger than you think, Jack. You’ve done a fine job raising her by yourself. Emily would be so proud of her. Jack turns to look out the window to conceal his tears. Jack I don’t know what I’d do, if I was to ever lose her… doctor We’re still waiting on the rabies test. We should know something by tomorrow. jack I’m telling you, this wasn’t rabies. This is something weird. Like some kind of genetic screw-up or something. God, I pray she doesn’t have to go through those vaccinations. Sally stirs and slowly opens her eyes. sally Daddy? Jack is at her side. jack Yes, baby girl. Daddy’s here. sally You shot, Bossie, Daddy! She tries to sit up. The NURSE gently pushes her back down. jack Bossie was sick, Sally. I did what I had to do. continued
10 continued 10 sally She would never hurt anyone. jack She hurt you, darlin’. She starts to nod off. sally You didn’t have to kill her… Jack brushes hair from her forehead and stares down at her. jack She looks exactly like Emily. The Doctor pats his back. doctor You hang in there, Jack. It’ll all work out. jack Yeah, I know. The Doctor leaves. Jack speed-dials Julia on his cell and listens to a message in Spanish. jack Julia… call me back. He turns back to the sunset in the window.
11 EXT WEAVER’S BLUE CATTLE FEED FACTORY – NIGHT 11 A rusted-out sign reading WEAVER’S BLUE CATTLE FEED hangs from a wire fence. A cube van pulls through gates and backs up to the loading dock. The CHAUFFEUR jumps out of the cab and walks up the dock ramp. Two DOCKHANDS appear with large rolling carts. Chauffeur Where’s the boss? continued 11 continued 11 Dockhand Whacking off in the break room. CHAUFFEUR I’ll tell him you said that. He goes into the plant. The Dockhand rolls up the door of the cube van and reels from the stench. dockhand God, I hate this job! They grab opposite ends of a body bag and toss it onto the cart. PULL BACK to reveal the cube van is packed full with body bags. A bag falls out, plops on the dock and rolls off onto the parking lot. dockhand Come on; let’s go get the damn thing! They jump down and heave the body up to the dock. dissolve to:
12 EXT SEMINOLE UNIVERSITY – DAY 12 sTudents traverse the campus on a chilly sunny morning. many sport cowboy hats and sunglasses.
13 INT VETERINARY SCHOOL/SEMINOLE UNIVERSITY - DAY 13 Young and beautiful, DR. AMANDA HOLLINGSWORTH, head of Seminole University Veterinary Viral Studies Department, shakes a test tube and adjusts a microscope. A SHEEP is being prepped for surgery in the background by her TEAM of ASSISTANTS. TIM MACPHERSON, graduate student, summons her: tim We’re ready Dr. Hollingsworth. She looks up from a specimen. amanda I’ll be right there. continued 13 continued 13 Her cell phone rings. amanda Perfect timing… She answers. amanda Yes? cut to:
14 BULL COUNTY HEALTH OFFICE – DAY 14 Bull County Health Inspector, PETE MCINTOSH slicks back his hair and admires his nerdy reflection in a wall mirror as he holds a phone to his ear. PETE Hello, Dr. Hollingsworth? This is Pete MCINTOSH down here in Bull County… He listens while making aesthetic adjustments to his thinning hair. PETE You know, the Bull County health inspector you met last year at the convention. We shared an elevator at the hotel after your speech…twice… He checks his nerdy reflection and waits for her recollection of him. PETE Well, anyway, I know you’re the foremost expert on rabies in the state and we have the strangest case of cattle rabies I’ve ever come across. I really think you’d be interested. cut to:
15 INT VETERINARY SCHOOL/SEMINOLE UNIVERSITY – DAY 15 Amanda is overlooking the procedure being performed on the sheep as she listens. continued
15 continued 15 amanda (Into phone) Go on… She stops a student from making an unnecessary slice. amanda No. No. Like this. She takes the scalpel while cradling the phone with her shoulder. cut to:
16 BULL COUNTY HEALTH OFFICE – DAY 16 Pete continues: PETE A child was attacked by a cow with no obvious symptoms of rabies. She was milking the animal when the attack occurred. He turns a page from a report. PETE No. Tests aren’t back yet. It’s horrible. I’ve never seen anything like it. One moment we have a docile milk cow that wouldn’t swat a fly and the next she’s like Jaws on Hooves… He rechecks his hair.
17 INT VETERINARY SCHOOL/SEMINOLE UNIVERSITY – DAY 17 She turns her full attention to Pete: amanda Animals don’t attack during the prodromal phase of rabies. They don’t just step into the furious phase. Has the animal been quarantined? She rechecks the operating table. All is well. AManda Well, then, can you send us the brain?
18 BULL COUNTY HEALTH OFFICE – DAY 18 Pete hates to deny her anything: PETE Brains are hard to come by around here. I think this is one you should see for yourself. I wouldn’t have called you if it wasn’t so unusual… I was going to wait to tell you this until you got here…this cow had fangs… He waits hopefully. PETE Great! I’ll pick you up at the airport… He wears the smile of a happy man. PETE Oh… (The smile fades.) I can give you directions…Once you head south on I-75…uh… He pauses to remember. cut to:
19 INT VETERINARY SCHOOL/SEMINOLE UNIVERSITY – DAY 19 Amanda is standing on her toes observing the finishing touches of the sheep surgery. Amanda No. That’ll be fine, Mr. McIntosh. I’ll use MapQuest. Bye, now… She disconnects and rolls her eyes.
20 BULL COUNTY HEALTH OFFICE – DAY 20 Pete listens to the drone of a dial tone. Pete Yeah, okay. Bye, baby. Love ya…
He cradles the phone, gives himself an admiring glance in the mirror, slicks back his hair, and winks. 21 EXT FARNSWOOD FARM - DAY 21 Jack, SHERIFF COOTER WALKER, and DR.IKE BROWNING, local vet since long before 1933, are having a barnyard powwow. The cow that Julia shot lies stinking in the dirt beside her soon-to-be grave. A back hoe waits nearby. Dr. Ike holds a zip-lock bag containing what’s left of the cow’s brain. Honey Babe sniffs the hooves of an animal that can no longer swat away the flies. The Sheriff lifts his 10-gallon hat and scratches his bald spot. With his free hand, he scratches belly fat. sheriff cooter Now, there ain’t no cause for getting everyone all riled up ‘round here just over one little incident of a couple of cows gone crazy. dr. ike Their hormones were off or something. PMS, you might say… or maybe they animal had some sort of new strand of rabies. jack You don’t know what happened with this animal. This is worse than Mad Cow Disease. sheriff cooter Listen to yourself, Jack. That’s just the stupid kind of rumor that’ll destroy the economy around here. You wouldn’t be able to sell a five cent hamburger if the meat came from here. Let’s see what the Cow Poker’s Association has to say about it… Jack is pissed: jack I don’t care about the damn Cow Pokers Association. And what about Julia? She just disappeared. Who shot this cow? continued 21 continued 21 Sheriff Cooter tries to be patient. Not easy for a man of his status. sheriff cooter Obviously she did. Maybe she went back to Carlos in Mexico. Jack, we can’t get the whole county in an uproar. We’re just now recovering from the mad cow scare. Let’s just keep it under our hats until we get the test results… Dr. Ike holds up the bag of brain. dr. ike We’ll perform the usual tests and we’ll know for sure in a couple of days. Suddenly, Honey Babe leaps to his feet. A distant jeep approaches fast. sheriff cooter Looks like somebody’s itching for a ticket… The Jeep whips into to driveway and slides to a dusty stop. The door swings open and the slender foot of Dr. Amanda Hollingsworth touches gravel. Honey Babe rushes to the doctor as if he’s known her all his life. The men gawk at her beauty. Sheriff Cooter gives a low whistle. sheriff cooter So much for a ticket… Amanda reaches down and scratches the dog’s wrinkled head. The three men can only gawk. Jack is the first to come to his senses: jack Honey Babe! Get down! The dog ignores him, totally into the spot Amanda has found between his ears. amanda It’s okay. I like dogs. continued 21 continued 21 And dogs like her. jack He’s never acted that way before. He’s usually pretty skittish around strangers. He gives her his broadest smile. jack Hi. Jack Farnswood. She turns her attention from the contented pooch to the handsome farmer standing over her. He helps her to her feet. She returns his smile. A moment happens, noticed by all. Honey Babe whines. amanda Dr. - Dr. Amanda Hollingsworth. jack Doctor, huh? Are you lost or something? The nearest hospital is in Deland… amanda No, I’m a veterinarian; head of Seminole University Veterinary Viral Infection Detection and Prevention Studies Department. I’m here on state-sanctioned research. The Sheriff is not impressed. Jack is and can’t peel his eyes from her. amanda Mr. Farnswood. Your local health inspector, Pete McIntosh, called in an unusual case of rabies that reportedly occurred on your farm? sheriff cooter McIntosh can’t keep his mouth shut! Honey Babe loves Amanda’s scent. continued
21 continued 21 Dr. Ike quickly conceals the bag of bovine brains behind his back and offers his handshake: DR. IKE I guess that means we’re colleagues, Dr. Hollingsworth. Hello. Dr. Isaac Browning, local vet. He is so pleased to meet her. amanda I’m looking forward to working with you Dr. Browning. Dr. Ike Folks around here just call me Dr. Ike. She gives him the sweetest smile. sheriff cooter There ain’t gonna be no colleague-ing around here. We don’t need outsiders from some big fancy college poking their noses in our business. jack Wait a minute, Cooter. The doctor is only here to help. She’s no threat to anyone. Amanda extends her hand. The Sheriff removes his hat and slicks back his comb-over before taking it. Amanda Do I seem like a threat to you, Sheriff Walker? He pulls himself up to full height. Sheriff cooter No, ma’am. I can’t say you do.
He gives her the full once over and considers how pretty she’d look in handcuffs. She feels more than a little uncomfortable. continued 21 continued 21 sheriff cooter I want your research confined to this farm only. No interviews with other ranchers. You make a move off this farm, and I’ll have you packing your pretty little butt back to where you came from. What happens in Bullsville better stay in Bullsville. Sheriff cooter (He turns to Jack) Do you understand me, Jack? I want your word. jack Alright, Cooter, you have my word. The Sheriff kicks dirt on the cow. Honey Babe scrambles for cover. sheriff cooter Now, do us all a favor and bury this stinking animal. Let’s go, Ike. Dr. ike Nice to meet you, ma’am. sheriff cooter Shut up, Ike, and get into the car. The Sheriff’s cruiser slings gravel and dust. Amanda stoops to examine the cow. She studies the fangs. Jack joins her. amanda I’d like to perform a necropsy on her. I can do it in the barn. jack I’ll help. She removes her gear from the rear of the jeep. Jack secures the cow to the back hoe shovel with chains and lifts her slowly toward the barn. Honey Babe yaps at the sight.
22 INT WKOW TV NEWSROOM – EVENING 22 DEENA CONCEPCION LANGLEY, an over-the-hill WKOW news anchor, reads copy just before she goes on the air. She stops the PA who is getting ready to step off. DEENA Wait a minute… She reads down the page then stops: deena Is this some kind of a joke? I’m supposed to read this shit? The PRODUCER steps up and waves the PA on. PRODUCER I’ll handle this. Deena… deena Our lead story is about goats and dogs with blood sucked out of them? What in the hell is a chupacabra, anyway? In L.A., this station would get laughed right off the air. producer You’re not in L.A. anymore, baby. She gets it. stagehand 5 seconds! The Producer steps back. Deena (Smiling into CAMERA) Today, in a rural area just outside of Bullsville, a mutilated dog and two goats were discovered…
23 ext Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feed factory – day 23 A CROWD of PLANT WORKERS are clustered around a catering truck, waiting for food. Suddenly, CHAD TANNER, company foreman, blows a whistle from the dock. continued 23 continued 23 Chad Okay! Back to work! Break’s over! Most of the crew leaves the truck with empty hands. JOSE ORTIZ is hungry: ortiz (To Chad) Hey, Señor! That was only a five minutes break. Chad You want a permanent break, Ortiz? ortiz No, Señor… His amigo breaks off a piece of burrito and passes it to him. Chad How sweet! Y’all get back to work before I call la migra on all y’all’s asses!
24 INT WEAVER’S BLUE CATTLE FEED FACTORY – DAY 24 Machines roar and conveyor belts spin as different chemicals are added to cattle feed. Bins labeled with various ingredients release measured amounts into the mix. From a mysterious bin, a glowing substance oozes into the blue mix. Further down the line, body bags hang from an overhead conveyor. They swing into place and stop over a vat. A robotic arm swings around and unzips the bag. A human body is suddenly released and plops into the feed. Large blades slowly slice the remains into particles finer than sand. The ingredients are thoroughly mixed and dried in ovens before bags are filled and loaded onto conveyor belts. continued 24 continued 24 SUDDENLY, a switch is flipped and all is quiet. Chad Tanner, stands atop a work table and calls for attention: Chad All right! Hold the work! Work immediately stops. Chad The boss has a few words. Few understand the English he speaks and stay in their places confused about what’s going on. F.U. WEAVER, local entrepreneur, town boss hog, feed factory owner and Bullsville Mayor, waddles from his office with a smoking cigar in his mouth and a SMOKING SECRETARY on each arm. F.U. Weaver Okay. First, I want to commend everyone for the fine job y’all been doing and yadda, yadda, yadda. More importantly, we have to do better. I want extended shifts--- CARLOS OCHOA stands to his feet. OCHOA We are already pulling double shifts. Seven days a week. I ain’t even seen my wife in four days and she works here! His COWORKERS chime in with agreement, even those who don’t understand what he said. f.u. weaver Sit down, Ochoa. Ever since you learned English you haven’t shut up. He does so. F.U. rolls his eyes toward heaven. f.u. weaver As I was saying, we have to increase productivity. continued
24 continued 24 The Workers begin to grumble in Spanish. f.u. weaver The holidays are coming up and a lot of you have put in for time off. All requests have been put on permanent hold. The English speakers translate what was just said to the non-English speakers. A collective groan progresses to loud Spanish curses and a general agreement that the jefe is a cabron. Ochoa mentions something about organizing. At Chad’s signal over a squawky Nextel, a squad of COWBOY-HATTED GOONS enters the plant brandishing rifles. The workers are immediately quiet. f.u. weaver Don’t be upset with me, amigos. It’s not me; our clients are demanding more and more of our fine product. And that, of course, is attributed to y’all’s hard efforts. You’ll find your schedules posted on the board. Now, back to work! Make me proud! The WORKERS grumble back to their jobs. The Cowboys stand ready. F.U. relights his cigar. Chad secretly winks at his boss’s secretary.
25 INT FARNSWOOD BARN – DAY 25 Amanda has transformed the barn into a make-shift forensics laboratory. Tubes, microscopes and medical machines are arranged on a work bench. Jack adjusts a light over the cow’s body. Amanda peers deep into the carcass, speaking through a face mask: continued
25 continued 25 AMANDA Right there. I’ve never seen cattle tissue develop in this manner. I want to send samples to the CVM up in Gainesville. jack Is it a mutation? amanda I’m not sure. It’s very unusual… Suddenly, Sally stands in the barn doorway, her arm in a sling. sally Daddy, is that Bossie? Jack scrambles to cover the carcass with a horse blanket. Jack No, baby. Let’s go outside, Sally. She points to Amanda: sally Who is that? Amanda removes her face mask and gloves and smiles at Sally. Amanda Hi, Sally. I’m Amanda. I’m trying to find out why Bossie got sick and hurt you. sally She didn’t mean it. And now she’s dead… She starts to cry. jack Come on, baby. Why don’t you help me feed Jasper? He misses you. (To Amanda) I’ll be right back. He puts his arm around his daughter as they EXIT the barn.
26 EXT FARNSWOOD FARM - DAY 26 Jack lugs a bale of hay as he and Sally exit the barn. JASPER, an aging bull, bellows. JACK See? I told you so. Sally reaches through the fence with her good arm and scratches the old bull between the ears. Jack tosses the bale over the gate. The hay is ignored. Jasper would rather sniff Sally. Jack notices and it makes him nervous: jack Honey, step back a little. Okay? He gently tugs her back by the shoulder. Jasper turns up his nose at the hay. Sally He only likes the Weaver Feed, now, Daddy. jack They eat that stuff like it’s manna from heaven. He pours Weaver Feed into a bin. Jasper devours it with seconds. Jack Look at him go! He scoops a handful and sniffs. Jack Man! That’s some stinky crap! I don’t know how they can eat that mess. Sally laughs at her dad’s reaction. He tosses the feed to the ground. Honey Babe sniffs and growls at the stuff. Jack washes his hands in the water trough. jack Sally, I know you’re real upset with me about Bossie… continued 26 continued 26 Sally fidgets. jack …but what Bossie did to you showed me she was in terrible pain. I had no choice but to put her down. Sally hugs her daddy with her one good arm and cries softly. Jack pats the little girl’s head. Sally I know, Daddy… JACK It was best for her. And best for you. Who knows what could have happened if I hadn’t heard you screaming. Sally I just feel sad for Bossie. Amanda steps from the barn: Amanda Excuse me. Sally, could I speak with your daddy for a minute? Jack, you need to see this. Sally pushes her daddy toward the barn. sally Go find out what was wrong, Daddy. I’m going to go lay down for a while. Okay? Jack Okay, baby. I love you. sally I love you too, Daddy. Jasper is hungrily licking the bottom of the empty feed trough.
27 EXT COW PASTURE – DAY 27 Three middle-school-aged BOYS climb a barb-wired fence and sneak up on a small herd of cattle. continued
27 continued 27 bobby I want that black one. I’ll bet he can give a ride! He creeps up behind the cow and with a jump, leaps on her back, and grabs horns. She immediately takes off bucking like a young steer. His classmates cheer him on. Bobby Yee-hi! classmate Ride, Bobby, ride! The cow races toward the fence and intentionally rakes the boy’s leg against barb wire, ripping flesh from the bone. Bobby can’t free himself from the torturous ride. The remainder of the herd starts to stampede. Screams of terror and pain fill the countryside as the boys are trampled. Bobby’s body dangles from a fence line. Bossie approaches and pulls a string of flesh from the boy’s leg. dissolve:
28 EXT COW PASTURE – LATER 28 A GROUP of LOCAL CITIZENS have volunteered for an organized search. Sheriff Cooter does the organizing: Sheriff cooter Alright! Parker you and Bryan take cover the north pasture from east to west and Miles, you and Tom: y’all take the south side. SUDDENLY, a cadaver dog starts yelping and tugging at his leash. His trainer releases him.
continued 28 continued 28 trainer Go boy! Go get ‘em, Ranger! The crowd follows the dog finds what’s left of Bobby entwined in the barb wire fence. His MOTHER throws herself on the ground sobbing. mother My, boy! What has happened to my boy?!! sheriff cooter Hold on, Mrs. Parker. We need to make proper DNA identification. Until then, let’s not jump to any conclusions… mother Look at my boy! Oh my God! The Sheriff’s BROTHER, DEPUTY CHUCK WALKER, steps up: deputy chuck Ma’am, if you could just step back… MOTHER’S POV: Bobby’s cap lies smashed into a cow pie. She grabs it and holds it to her face, moaning and rocking back and forth. mother Oh, my Bobby! My Bobby! Sheriff Cooter and Deputy Chuck help her to her feet. Her FRIENDS try to comfort her. Deputy Chuck sees something: deputy chuck Sheriff Cooter! Over there! Bones, picked clean, are strewn across the pasture.
29 INT SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT/INTERROGATION ROOM – NIGHT 29 Sheriff Cooter grills a defiant TEENAGE GOTH, DONNY WILSON, whose hair has been dyed black, red and silver. His black eyeliner is smeared with tears. Piercings adorn his face. sheriff cooter So, you don’t believe in God? continued 29 continued 29 DONNY I don’t believe in the devil, either. sheriff cooter Oh, no? What about that little Satan worship party last year? donny That’s all it was, a party. You know, chicks like weird stuff. How else do you expect someone like me to pick up girls? deputy chuck He’s got you there, Sheriff… sheriff So you don’t know anything about a little party out on the Siwica place? Donny smiles and reveals filed teeth. donny If there was a party, I would’ve been the first to know. sheriff cooter Lock him up. The Deputy yanks Donny to his feet. donny Hey! What’s the charge? sheriff cooter How about being ugly as hell? Donny is dragged away. The Sheriff punches in a number on his cell phone. sheriff cooter We need to talk. He disconnects, pockets the phone and opens the door. Sheriff cooter It stinks in here… The door slams hard.
30 FARNSWOOD HOUSE/KITCHEN - DAY 30 Sally’s bandages have been replaced by colorful princess-style Band-Aids. She and Amanda work on the kitchen table rolling out dough for biscuits. AMANDA Where did you learn how to cook so well, Sally? sally Well, my daddy, mostly, but I found a recipe box that my mommy use to use. amanda Your daddy says you’re a lot like your mommy. SALLY I know. He says that all the time. I guess I am. I don’t know… Jack ENTERS through the back door, kicking mud from his boots and sniffing the air. jack Hey! What smells so good? Mmm-mm! amanda You can blame that on Sally. She made an apple pie for desert. Jack opens the oven door for a peek. Jack I can’t wait! sally Well, you’re going to have to. Supper won’t be ready for thirty minutes. jack (In Terminator voice) I’ll be back... Amanda’s eyes follow him as he leaves the room. Sally notices: continued 30 continued 30 Sally You like my daddy, don’t you? amanda Your daddy’s a good man. Biscuits are popped into the oven. dissolve:
31 EXT FARMHOUSE PORCH – NIGHT 31 Jack and Amanda share the porch swing. Crickets chirp. Cattle moo.
Amanda is awed by the country sky. amanda It’s so beautiful. I’d forgotten what stars looked like. Jack looks up. jack …And I don’t even notice they’re there. They take in the quiet night. Amanda notices there’s something on his mind. Amanda What is it, Jack? jack I didn’t want to say anything during supper but there’s weird things going on around here. amanda Weird things like what? Jack Weird things like a group of boys getting trampled and scattered all over a cow pasture about five miles from here. He pauses. continued 31 continued 31 jack Their bones were picked clean. I think they were killed by old man Siwica’s herd. amanda What? jack Sheriff Cooter is trying to pin the blame on the local Spiritualist group. A bunch of kids moved here from Cassadega last year and now every time a death occurs, the Sheriff suspects a sacrificial ceremony. amanda That’s crazy but not nearly as crazy as thinking those boys were eaten by cows. jack Call it the Crazy Cow Disease. There’s more than rabies going on here. amanda Were there any indications of diseased cattle? jack They were grazing in the middle of a field of scattered bones. There were no sick cows. And my ranch hand, Julia, is still missing. amanda You think she was eaten by a cow? That’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever heard. Jack Crazy. amanda Insane. He absorbs her beauty. continued
31 continued 31 Jack I’m going insane sitting here next to you like this… She laughs. amanda I was hoping you were… Her hand slips into his. He gazes into her eyes and sees the reflection of billions of stars. Jack Amanda… She leans in, parting her lips… dissolve to:
32 EXT BIG CITY SIDEWALK – DAY 32 F.U. Weaver squeezes himself down the crowded sidewalk to the steps of the NATIONAL HEADQUARTERS of BULLY BURGER, INC. He looks up at the towering BULL STATUE gracing the entrance of the building and notices a pigeon chipping away on the mountainous oysters. He can barely shove himself through the revolving door. Cigar smoke fills the entrance way. f.u. weaver Why don’t they build anything the way the used to? Passing PEOPLE are amazed he walks through the lobby ignoring NO SMOKING signs. A SECURITY GUARD APPROACHES: Guard Sorry, sir. We can’t allow smoking in non-designated areas. F.U. blows smoke in his face and walks on. continued
32 continued 32 The Guard goes into a coughing spasm. He gags and spits into his walkie but can’t get out any words.
33 INT CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY 33 F.U. interrupts a secret meeting: ANDERSON KELLER, CEO, Bully Burger, INC. abruptly stops his speech and rushes to F.U. with outstretched arms: ANDERSON F.U.! What a surprise. We weren’t expecting you until tomorrow. He swallows hard as F.U. brushes him aside. f.u. Weaver Obviously. He flicks an ash on the massive mahogany conference table. ANDERSON Can we get you an ashtray? Maybe some coffee? F.U. grinds out his cigar and makes his way to the head of the table. He picks up an open report. F.U. Weaver Why was this meeting called without inviting me? This is some bullshit. Something you don’t want me to know, A.K.? He flips to the bottom line on the last page. An enormous dollar figure is highlighted. He slams down the report and pulls out another cigar. The CEO is ready with a lighter. F.U. takes the lighter and sets the report on fire. The Board Members give a quick gasp. continued 33 continued 33 F.U. Weaver As of this morning, you’re all fired, including you, Anderson. And an even greater gasp: anderson What do you mean, F.U.? You can’t fire me! f.u. weaver I can and I have. I bought up all your stocks and now have complete control over Bully Burger, Inc. He reaches into his pocket for his Nextel. A chirp sounds. f.u. weaver So I’m throwing all y’all out on your asses. The door opens and a squad of cowboy-hatted THUGS ENTERS. They take positions behind the chair of each Board Member. The former Board Members get the message and quietly excuse themselves. anderson F.U., we’ve been friends a long time. I have a family… f.u. weaver Goodbye, A.K. A Cowboy Goon steps up. Anderson meekly leaves. F.U. Weaver brings out his gavel. The Cow Pokers Association begins an official meeting. As the gavel comes down: cut to:
34 EXT COW PASTURE – DAY 34 A cow bites down on a strand of barb wire. It snaps and coils, ringing down the fence line. The herd leaves for greener pastures. 35 EXT COUNTY HIGHWAY – DAY 35 MAYHEM ON THE HIGHWAY. SWERVING CARS. HONKING HORNS. A HERD of CATTLE walks head-on through traffic, ignoring on-coming cars. A COW is hit by a semi-truck and is thrown up into the windshield. Both cow and CHAUFFEUR are killed instantly. The truck swerves and jack-knifes into the ditch. The cow rolls off the hood and plops into a patch of wildflowers. Steamy cud oozes from her bloodied mouth. The flowers wither and die where it touches. Sirens and blue lights announce the arrival of the Florida Highway Patrol. Traffic is directed around the accident. A LITTLE BOY points from his restraining seat, excited by all the cattle that move past the stopped car. little boy Moo cows! Moo cows! A cow SUDDENLY pokes his head into the car window. The boy’s MOTHER screams. Boy’s mother Get out of here! Go away! Shoo! She hits the window up button. The cow is startled and yanks back its head, breaking glass in the process. MONTAGE: A tangled mess of a traffic jam. People laugh at OFFICERS who slip and slide in mud, wet grass and cow poop. An OFFICER uses his taser gun against an unruly cow. She bucks and kicks the Officer to the ground. officer Officer down! Officer down! He checks his head for blood and pulls back a bloody hand.
36 int jack’s pickup – day 36 Jack and Amanda pass the scene and rubberneck. She sits in the middle with her Vet bag in the seat on her right. Her left hand is on his knee. continued
36 continued 36 jack Did you see that? amanda The poor animal never had a chance. The front end of the tractor trailer is a bloodied tangled mess. Paramedics are loading an ambulance with a man whose face is covered by a sheet. Amanda turns away. Jack removes his cap. jack Don’t forget the poor Chauffeur. Traffic is stop and go. Mostly stop.
37 ext county highway – day 37 The hit cow opens her eyes and licks the gory mess from her lips. She struggles to stand, then falls back. A FIREMAN jumps back in surprise.
38 int jack’s pickup – day 38 They come upon another cow grazing in a ditch. jack They’re everywhere. Jack and Amanda slowly approach the tail end of a slow-moving herd. He has to downshift once more as they inch past a slow-moving heifer.
39 EXT COUNTY HIGHWAY – DAY 39 A huge cow catches the scent of a bag of Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feed left in the back of Jack’s truck. Her nostrils open wide. Saliva drips in clumps, sending up steam from the pavement. The pickup speeds up during a gap in traffic. The cow trots to keep up with Jack’s truck. Another of the herd gives a snort and joins the chase. continued 39 continued 39 The pickup brakes once more and stops. THRU REAR WINDOW OF PICKUP: Jack and Amanda share a quick kiss, oblivious to the gathering crowd of cows behind them. Cattle push and shove and fight to get to the bed of the Jack’s pickup. A bag of Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feedis hungrily ripped open by a set of glowing fangs. A scramble for feed ensues, nearly knocking over the pickup. Jack jumps from his truck and comes face-to-face with a hissing heifer. jack Holy cow! He jumps back into the truck and rolls up the window as fast as he can. The truck is nearly toppled over. Amanda screams.
40 int jack’s pickup – day 40 Jack pops open his glove box and removes a large pistol. amanda What are you going to do with that? jack Nothing, I hope. He removes a box of shells. He loads the revolver and places the remaining shells into his shirt pocket. He looks into the side mirror. Some of the cattle are starting to move on. He turns to look through the rear window: the bag has been emptied. His truck bed, licked clean. jack That’s the damndest thing I’ve ever seen… They go crazy over that stuff. Amanda is still shivering as the last cow leaves. He pulls her into his arms. continued
40 continued 40 amanda Do you have any of that feed left? I’d like to have it analyzed. jack There might be a little left. My small herd went through 50 bags in two days. It’s incredible. Sure fattens them up, though. amanda I wonder what’s in it… Traffic inches slowly along.
41 EXT COUNTY HIGHWAY – DAY 41 JENNICA KEVLIN, on her way to work at the Bullsville Beauty Salon, switches CD’s, chats, smokes and applies eye makeup with a compact mirror she digs from deep within her purse. She drives compact sports car at eighty miles per hour, slowing to seventy-nine on the curves. jennica (Into cell phone) …I know I’m late, Monica. I’m getting there as fast as I can… The contents of her overloaded purse spill to the floorboard. jennica Oh, damn! Listen, I’ll be there in a few minutes, okay? Old Lady Hursey ain’t gonna die within the next fifteen minutes, I know…okay, bye. She slaps her phone closed and accidentally drops it between her the seat and the door. She drives with her knees while trying to retrieve her phone and the contents of her purse at the same time. Suddenly, she rounds a curve and looks up to see a cow standing directly in the middle of her lane. She swerves and slams into the rear end of completely stopped traffic. continued 41 continued 41 She passes through the windshield to die with her face embedded into the rusted-out trunk of an eight cylinder gas hog. Her blouse has been ripped from her body and her breasts dangle and swing freely, dripping blood from nipples to pavement. A small calf steps up with an open mouth.
42 EXT BULLSVILLE FUNERAL HOME – NIGHT 42 in a back alley behind the funeral home; A hearse and a van are parked back to back. A Cow Poker passes a SADDLEBAG full of MONEY to the FUNERAL DIRECTOR, MARVIN MASON. COW POKER There ya go, Mr. Mason, Compliments of Mr. F.U. Weaver. The Funeral Director nervously looks up and down the alley then peers into the bag. mason It seems to be all here. Do you think they could go a little faster? LABORERS toss 5 body bags from the hearse into the van, moving as fast as they can. A body rolls from the tailgate to the pavement. It lands with a plop. Stacked nearby are bags of leftover cow parts. A WEAVER SLAUGHTER HOUSE logo is printed on the side. cow poker Y’all hurry up. We still have a couple of more stops to make. mason Can someone help me get these animal parts into the caskets? The Cow Poker gives a wide grin. continued
42 continued 42 cow poker Looks like you’re on your own on with that one, son. The Laborers pull down the tail gate and jump into the cab. The Cow Poker jumps in stomps the gas. The Funeral Director drags a heavy sack of dead meat through the rear door of the funeral home, leaving a trail of cattle blood staining the asphalt.
43 EXT COW PASTURE – DAY 43 A GROUP of COLLEGE STUDENTS search for mushrooms in the dampness of a foggy Florida morning, kicking cow pies and filling brown paper bags with their purple-stemmed harvest. Suddenly, a scream pierces through the fog. ANGIE, a pretty and obviously stoned, is hysterical. Her boyfriend, TONY rushes to her. She can’t be calmed. tony What the matter?!! Did you eat some ‘shrums, already? Football hero, BILLY, looks in her nearly empty bag. He crumbles it and tosses it to the ground. A nearby COW contentedly chews cud. billy You can’t eat ‘em raw like that, you know. It ain’t healthy…
Angie points to a nearby pile of cow manure. Angie Look! A HUMAN EYEBALL partially embedded in the turd stares back at them. tony Holy shit! continued 43 continued 43 Billy looks again into the bag. billy I ain’t eatin’ this shit! He tosses the bag to the ground. A nearby COW bellows an eerie cry. Purple steam puffs from her nostrils.
44 EXT COUNTRY ROAD – DAY 44 A carload of teenagers are skipping school, drinking beer, AND MOONING COWS. Somebody’s daddy’s car zips down the two-lane highway at 90 miles an hour flying past citrus grooves and cow pastures. Cattle and sheep raise their heads, disturbed by the bee-bop music that disrupts the countryside tranquility.
45 INT CAR 45 STANLEY DILLARD, barely 17 years old and driving drunk, steers with one hand and sips beer with the other, bobbing his head in rhythm with TuPak. He knows all the words. In the back seat, ALVIN CHARLES squeezes his fat butt back into the car and pulls up his pants. stanley Damn, Alvin! Stick your ass back out the window. I’m about to gag. Bossie stands dead center of the road just ahead. Stanley slams on the breaks and swerves, just missing her. The boys let out a whoop in unison. Stanley regains control of the car and slows down considerably. He puts a hand over his heart. Stanley I thought I was going to T-bone me a T-bone! alvin Let’s go back and get him! continued 45 continued 45 The other boys are all for it: jimmy and johnny (Twins - Chiming together) Yeah! Let’s go get make some cheeseburgers! Let’s barbeque some ribs. Alvin Tacos! STANLEY Hell, no! I ain’t gonna wreck my dad’s car over some cow. The car is weaving all over the road. Alvin I ain’t talking about crashing into her. I’m talking about a little cow-tipping. You know, America’s favorite sport? stanley I don’t know. She looked awful big. Alvin grabs the meat of his belly with both hands. Alvin We can do it! I’ll knock her flat on her fat ass! He gives his belly a vigorous shake.
46 EXT – COUNTRY ROAD – DAY 46 HIGH ANGLE: THE CAR DOES A QUICK U-TURN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. Smoke pours from tires as they squeal down the highway. They near Bossie and park in a ditch on the side of the road. They hide in the bushes next to the shoulder. Bossie ignores their presence and continues gazing stupidly in the opposite direction. continued 46 continued 46 stanley (Whispering) Now, we’ve got to all hit her at the same time, or she ain’t gonna go. SUDDENLY, a pickup truck appears around the corner and blows his horn at Bossie. He slows as he passes her. The boys duck low, laughing and taking deep swigs of beer. Chauffeur Get out of the road! Bossie ignores him and continues to chew her cud in defiance. He gives his horn another blast and punches the gas, leaving her in exhaust smoke. Stanley finishes his beer and tosses the empty to the grass. Stanley Okay. Y’all ready? alvin You know I’m ready. He takes deep warm-up breaths. Stanley Let’s go! The boys jump up and race across the highway. They slam into the side of beef with their shoulders and bounce back. Alvin hits pavement with a thump. Bossie continues concentrating on chewing cud, daydreaming of some distant pasture. Alvin sits up in the center of a white dividing line. Alvin Will you look at that son-of-a-bitch? That didn’t even faze her! continued
46 continued 46 The boys are laughing all over the road.
Stanley I think I knocked the breath out of myself I hit her so hard. Bossie responds with a soft moo. STANLEY Come on, I know we can do this. We just didn’t hit her right. We have to hit her at exactly the same second. We have to get the timing down exactly right. Alvin struggles to his feet. His fat ankles can barely support his weight. stanley Y’all come over here and line up. Let’s do it right this time. They all get into their favorite stance. Stanley Okay. On my count: one, two… three, go! They hit the side of the cow with every ounce of muscle in their bodies. Bossie topples over on her side. The boys cheer and give each other celebratory high fives. Bossie lies perfectly still with her legs straight out and stiff. The boys cautiously approach: alvin Is she alive? Bossie shows no sign of life. stanley I don’t think so. We must have given her ass a heart attack. Alvin, see if she’s breathing…. continued
46 continued 46 Alvin doesn’t like that idea and shoves Johnny toward the animal. Johnny doesn’t like it any better than Alvin. JOHNNY Uh-uh. I ain’t getting next to some nasty cow. I can’t go home smelling like that. alvin You already smell like that. Besides, it’ll help mask the beer. Johnny reluctantly gets down on his hands and knees and slowly bends over Bossie’s face. Her eyes are glazed over with death’s dullness. Johnny leans in and puts his ear to the cow’s nostril. He turns to look at the other boys. johnny She must be dead. I don’t hear anything… SUDDENLY, the Bossie bites down on Johnny’s neck. He is dead before he hears the snap. His head rolls across the road and into a ditch. His friends race terrified back to the car. Alvin Let’s get out of here! Bossie jumps to her feet, snorting and stamping on Johnny’s body. The boys jump into the car, slam the doors, and roll up the windows.
47 INT CAR – DAY 47 The boys are breathing so heavy the windows are fogging up. Stanley’s hands shake as he places the keys into the ignition. continued
47 continued 47 jimmy We’re just going to leave him there? Stanley There’s nothing left of him, Jimmy! What can we do?!!! He turns over the key. The starter refuses to engage, grinding slower and slower. The gas gauge says empty. stanley We’re out of gas. alvin Uh-huh! I can’t believe you didn’t fill up! stanley What do you expect? Milk is cheaper than gas, now… Bossie levels her gaze on them. Alvin Oh, shit! We’ve got to get out here! She paws the pavement and makes her charge. The boys scream for their lives. Alvin opens the door to escape.
48 EXT COUNTRY ROAD – DAY 48 Bossie slams into the Alvin’s door. The upper half of his body drops to the road as the car topples over on its side. The cow kicks in the windshield and pokes in her head. Screams of terror come to an abrupt silence.
49 EXT COW POND – DAY 49 A YOUNG, SOON-TO-BE-WEDDED COUPLE, JACOB AND NELDA, ARE HAVING A PICNIC. continued
49 continued 49 They sit next to a picturesque cattle pond toasting their future. Jacob pours beer into plastic Champaign glasses. jacob To us. She smiles and raises her glass. nelda To us. They drink the beer. She starts to tidy up. He places his hand on hers. Jabcob That can wait… She looks around the area and blushes. Nelda Jacob! Out here? jacob No silly. I was thinking we could go swimming. She eyes the pond. Cattle are munching around its edges. nelda Don’t cows go in there? jacob Sure. But they’re not going to bother us. They’re cows! nelda But we don’t have our bathing suits. He starts stripping down. Jacob Exactly! He leaps into the pond butt naked. Bossie raises her head with mild interest. jacob Come on in. It feels great! continued
49 continued 49 She takes off her top. nelda I don’t know it looks pretty cold… She takes off her pants and dives in. He playfully splashes her when she comes up. He goes underwater to get away as she chases. cut to:
50 EXT COW POND/UNDERWATER – DAY 50 JACOB’S POV: he swims up behind Nelda. SUDDENLY a set of cow legs paddle by.
51 EXT COW POND – DAY 51 He comes up gasping for air. Nelda is waiting with a spray. jacob No, Nelda! Wait. Did you see that? Where’d it go? nelda Where’d what go? jacob I just saw a cow swimming by underwater! nelda Cows don’t swim underwater. About fifty feet away, Bossie’s erect cow tail slices the water, sticking straight up like the fin of a shark. jacob Look! Over there! What in the hell is that? Nelda squeezes up close to him. Nelda That’s too weird. Let’s get out of here. continued
51 continued 51 jacob I’m with you… The tail circles around them. They start to swim for shore. Other cattle ENTER the water. The radius tightens. SUDDENLY, Nelda freezes with a look of horror. Nelda Something just bumped me! Something really big! jacob Come on. Keep swimming. nelda (Screaming) My legs! She quickly sinks. Jacob gulps a deep breath and dives after her. The water churns red then all is still. A PAIR of MIGRATING DUCKS land on the pond. A Bass leaps high. Cows graze contentedly on the grassy banks and blood sloshes up to the shore. dissolve to:
52 EXT COW POND – SUNSET 52 FISHERMEN, ross and larry, BACK UP A SMALL BOAT trailer to the edge of the pond. They jump out and unlash the boat. Ross notices the Jacob and Nelda’s picnic gear. ross Hey, Larry, look at this. Larry Wow! Any food? continued
52 continued 52 Ants have taken over. Ross You go ahead. He eyes the edge of the woods. ross I wonder where they are. Larry Who knows? Probably getting it on out in the bushes. Let’s scare the shit out of ‘em! Ross Yeah, and scare the shit out of the fish, too. Let’s get to fishin’ before it gets too late. Grab the beer… They float in the middle of the lake, kicked back, poles and beer in position. They observe Bossie ENTER the water. Ross It must be time for her Saturday night bath and douche. Larry It’s Friday. They watch her dive head first down to the bottom. Larry Do cows go underwater? ross I didn’t think so… They wait for her to surface. A bubble rises. ross Maybe a gator got her. Larry Or she farted… continued
52 continued 52 He stands in the boat to get a better look. He shields his eyes. Ross stands and joins him, scanning the surface. Larry She’s been underwater for a long time. Even a gator can’t hold his breath that long… SUDDENLY, Bossie rams her head through the bottom of the boat, eyes glowing wildly, spilling both of them overboard. She bellows in triumph and shakes the boat from her neck. Ross and Larry try for the shore. Ross lives two butterfly strokes longer than Larry. The Florida sunset has never looked more beautiful than its reflection in the blood stained pool.
53 EXT RATCLIFF FARMHOUSE – NIGHT 53 A full MOON shines OVER AN OLD VICTORIAN-STYLE FARMHOUSE. A small herd of cattle grazes in the front yard. Bossie takes a couple of steps up the front porch and munches on geraniums hanging from a swinging pot. She finishes the flowers and gently nudges open an unlocked front door. A SLEEPING DOG on the porch wakes but ignores the intrusion.
54 INT RATCLIFF FARMHOUSE/DOWNSTAIRS – NIGHT 54 All is quiet and peaceful in the RATCLIFF HOUSE. An old grandfather’s clock chimes the midnight hour. A cat leaps from a rocking chair. Bossie ENTERS through the front door and creeps stealthily toward the stairwell. Her tail swoops gracefully across a table lamp and then a flower vase. They wobble but remain upright. continued
54 continued 54 The cat watches from a corner. Bossie tests her weight on the first step, and then the second. Very quietly, she eases up the stairs, stopping at the slightest creak. She has her hooves in a tip-toe position as she moves up the steps one by one.
55 INT RATCLIFF FARMHOUSE/BEDROOM – NIGHT 55 mR. AND MRS. RATCLIFF SHARE THEIR SLEEP SONG snoring IN TWO-PART HARMONY. The bedroom door creaks loudly as it slowly opens. Bossie shuffles over to the edge of the brass bed. A GLOWING GLOB of CUD plops on the front of Mrs. Ratcliff’s negligee. She opens one eye. MRS. RATCLIFF’S POV: bright green fangs. Bossie Moo. Mrs. Ratcliff quickly covers her breasts as she scoots up the headboard, screaming. cut to:
56 EXT RATCLIFF FARMHOUSE – NIGHT 56 Cattle continue to graze under the moonlight. Mrs. Ratcliff’s scream goes unnoticed. SUDDENLY, Mr. Ratcliff crashes through the bedroom window, runs across the porch roof, and leaps into the midst of the herd below. He is devoured with seconds. His dog raises his head from the porch then lays it back down again. WIDE ANGLE: cattle file into the house until the house falls apart.
dissolve to: 57 EXT RATCLIFF FARMHOUSE – early morning 57 The dog wakes at the sound of an approaching vehicle and rises from what’s left of the front porch. The rest of the house has been completely flattened. Deputy Chuck enters the yard in his cruiser and gets out of his car totally flabbergasted and stepping into a fresh cow pie. Deputy Chuck Hello?!! Anybody home?!!! The silence is eerie. The dog approaches the deputy and whines for attention. deputy chuck What happened here, buddy? He calls in for backup. later:
58 EXT RATCLIFF FARMHOUSE – day/later 58 THE YARD IS FULL OF EMERGENCY VEHICLES. pOLICE CARS, AMBULANCES, COUNTY CORORNER. HEALTH inspector. What remains of the Ratcliff family is loaded into a single ambulance. The Bull County Health Inspector approaches Sheriff Cooter. pete mcintosh By the looks of all the cow manure around, I’d say it was a stampede. Wouldn’t you, Sheriff Cooter? Sheriff Cooter That’s none of your business, McIntosh. Don’t you have some taco stand to inspect somewhere? pete mcintosh (Proudly) I’m supposed to meet Dr. Hollingsworth here. She should be here any moment. continued
58 continued 58 sheriff cooter That’s just great! You hinder my investigation and you both go to jail. This isn’t a case for the health department. The ambulance passes with sirens blaring. pete mcintosh The Ratcliffs don’t look too healthy, do they? sheriff cooter You’ve been fairly warned… Jack’s pickup clatters up the driveway. sheriff cooter Y’all better stay out of my way. Jack and Amanda approach hand-in-hand. sheriff cooter Ain’t that sweet? Jack is slightly embarrassed. Pete is devastated. jack Hello, Sheriff. Pete. Pete nervously brushes back his hair. pete Hello, Dr. Hollingsworth. Long time. She graciously extends her hand. amanda Yes, it has been. She looks at the devastation. amanda What happened here? Was there a tornado? pete There was no tornado, Doctor. continued
58 continued 58 sheriff You can shut up now, Pete. jack What exactly did happen here, Sheriff? Pete points out all the manure. Pete It’s obvious to me; there was some sort of a stampede. Sheriff I’m gonna leave y’all with your fancy scientific theories and go about my business of solving this mystery. Y’all have a nice day… He tips his hat as he leaves being careful to step around a fresh cow pie. amanda Charming gentleman. jack That’s no gentleman. She opens her bag. Amanda I want to take some samples. Pete is eager. pete mcintosh Anything I can to do help? She removes a few tubes and bottles from her bag and passes them to him. Amanda I’m sorry but I’m afraid I don’t have any gloves that would fit you. pete That’s okay. I don’t mind. He fingers a steamy pile of cow manure as he clumsily dribbles a wad of it into a test tube.
59 EXT FLORIDA SWAMP – DAY 59 Jack and amanda take soil samples, photos, and plaster cow tracks. Amanda drops a measuring tape into depth of a hoof track. amanda Eight and a half inches! She gives a low whistle. Amanda The animal that made this is easily pushing a ton and a half. Jack finds this a little hard to believe. jack That’s twice normal size. amanda And growing. For the first time, they notice bones strewn about the swamp. A set of ribs hang from a branch. jack Look at that. amanda They look like sheep bones. jack And dogs…I think… Amanda slips a sample into a test tube. AMANDA There’s some chemical or radiation that’s causing this effect in these animals. They hear distant drumming. jack You know, there could be another possibility. amanda Please let’s try to remain sensible. continued
59 continued 59 jack Voodoo. Witches. Cassadega is just down the road, you know. A lot of strange things have happened in these parts. Amanda retrieves a mysterious long stringy substance from the muck. amanda But not nearly as strange as this, I’m sure. She holds it up for Jack to see. He has to fight to keep from gagging.
60 int FARNSWOOD FARM/BARN – day 60 Sally is brushing Jasper the Bull’s tail with long deliberate strokes. She hums as she works. Sally You’re going to be the prettiest bull at the fair, Jasper. I just know you’re going to win a blue ribbon. She looks over at Bossie’s empty stall. sally I’m sorry your old friend won’t be with you this year, buddy. Jasper grunts in agreement.
61 ext FARNSWOOD FARM/BARN – day 61 Jack backs up a trailer to the barn. Sally approaches bundled up in an overcoat with Jasper in tow. With Weaver feed in her hand, he trots to keep up. Sally He’s ready, Daddy. Jack stands back and gives an admiring look. He walks around the old bull eyeing him up and down.
continued
61 continued 61 jack He’s ready alright. How about you? sally I’m a little nervous. This is his first time without Bossie. They were a team. jack I know they were darlin’. Just like you and me… He gives Jasper a firm slap on the shank and tries to coax him into the trailer. Jasper is much more interested in what’s in Sally’s hand than in walking up a ramp. jack Coax him in, Sally. She goes to the front of the trailer and sticks her arm through the slats. She opens her hand to show Jasper the feed. Sally Here, Jasper! Come here, boy! Jasper spots Weaver’s Blue Feed in Sally’s palm. He snorts and stamps. Suddenly, he charges up the ramp and into the trailer, knocking Jack back against the barn wall. Sally barely gets her arm out the trailer before Jasper slams against the front panel. Jack slams the gate shut. Sally stands back, wide-eyed. Jasper is furious at the trick. The trailer rocks with his anger. Honey Babe runs in circles, yapping like crazy. Sally disappears into the barn. Jack Sally! continued
61 continued 61 Amanda runs up with a large hypodermic needle. amanda What happened? Jasper continues his rampage. jack He just went crazy on us. I’m not sure you can get close enough to tranquilize him. Amanda timidly approaches the trailer. Sally appears with a bucket of Weaver’s Blue and walks to the feed bin at front of the trailer. Sally There’s no need to tranquilize him. Just like there was no need to shoot Bossie. All he wants is this. She pours the feed thru a flap door. Jasper is immediately satisfied. jack Sally… You know I did what I had to do… Sally I know, Daddy. It’s okay. Can we go to the fair now? jack Of course, we can, baby. Maybe we oughta take along some more feed, just in case… Amanda secures the hypodermic needle. Jack Amanda? You want to go watch Old Jasper win a blue ribbon? Amanda puts her arm around Sally and beams down at her. Amanda I wouldn’t miss it for the world… continued
61 continued 61 jack Well, then ladies, let’s get on our ponies! He opens the pickup doors for the ladies. Amanda lets Sally in first to sit next to her daddy.
62 int jack’s truck – day 62 Sally straps on her seatbelt. Jack turns on the ignition. sally Wait a minute, Daddy. She reaches under the seat and pulls out two white cowboy hats. sally This one’s for you…and… She places the hat on Amanda. sally This one’s for me… She places on her own hat. Jack turns his ball cap so that the bill is in back. Jack Now, we’re ready! Yee-ha!
63 ext FARNSWOOD FARM – day 63 REAR ANGLE: Jack punches the gas. Tires spin in the gravel. Amanda waves her hat out the window. amanda Yee-ha!!! Honey Babe chases them to the end of the drive and sits to wait their return.
64 EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS – DAY 64 The diverse population of Bull County is well-represented. Cowboy hats and pickup trucks. Mariachis, Salsa and Western Swing. Jack pulls into the lot and eases his pickup into reverse. He carefully backs the trailer between a limousine and a fancy oversized cattle carrier hitched to a tractor heavily decorated with Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feed logos. The trio jumps out and excitedly starts to unload gear. The door of the limousine opens and F.U. Weaver steps out. He smiles broadly at Sally. F.U. weaver Hello, little champ! He turns to Jack. f.u. weaver I’m glad to see she’s okay, Jack. You’ve had your share of troubles. He gives Amanda an admiring eye: f.u. weaver And who is this lovely lady? Amanda steps up. Jack Amanda, this is F.U. Weaver, mayor of Bullville. The mayor takes her lovely hand, perfect for kissing, but she retrieves it at the last second. jack Mayor, this is Dr. Amanda Hollingsworth of Seminole College. F.u. weaver When I heard talk that some doctor was down here from the college, I surely didn’t picture someone as pretty as you. amanda Thank you, mayor… continued
64 continued 64 f.u. weaver How long to you plan to grace our fair county? amanda I’m here on research. You know how that can go. f.u. weaver Indeed I do. And speaking of that, I’ve got a little surprise for y’all. He chirps his Nextel. Chad Tanner, foreman, comes back. Chad Yeah, go ahead, boss. f.u. weaver Let Babe out. Another chirp. Chad (Radio V.O.) You got it boss! A squad of Weaver’s Cowpoke Thugs appears and stands in formation at the rear of Babe’s trailer. Chad pushes a button. With mechanical precision, huge hydraulic shock absorbers slowly protrude from the gate as it lowers into a ramp position. jack Pretty fancy… f.u. weaver You think? Chad swings open a heavy duty safety bar. He attempts to coax Babe down the ramp. chad Stand back! C’mon, Babe! Let’s go! Nothing. continued
64 contined 64 f.u. weaver Maybe she needs a snack. chad I’d rather not. f.u. weaver Let me put it this way: give her a snack. I ain’t got all day. chad Yes, sir. He pushes another button and a feed tray slides out from beneath the trailer rig. He scoops up a handful of Weaver’s Blue and reluctantly approaches the ramp. chad I ain’t liking this… He stands at the bottom of the ramp with the handful of blue feed nervously extended. The Cowboy Thugs stand ready to run. Chad Babe? Suddenly, four thousand pounds of beef bounds down the ramp, stomping and snorting. jack Get back! Sally screams. Amanda holds her in her arms. Chad dashes for the corral and barely makes it over the fence. F.U. Weaver jumps into the safety of his limo. Splinters fly as Babe repeatedly slams her head against the wooden rungs. Chad throws the handful of feed to the ground before her and she finally calms. F.U. Weaver rolls down his window and grins at the scene. continued
64 continued 64 F.u. weaver I ain’t never seen you move so fast, Chad! I oughta bring ol’ Babe around more often. Amanda That has to be the largest bovine in the world. Sally She’s scary. f.u. Weaver If you mean that’s the largest cow in the world, you got that right, honey! Created right here in Bull County, Florida. A blue ribbon winner, for sure. sally It takes more than size to win a blue ribbon Mr. Mayor. Jasper’s got more personality than your whole herd put together! f.u. weaver I don’t know about that now, little darlin’, but I do know I like your spunk. You remind me a lot of myself… Sally I’m nothing like you! jack Sally… Watch your manners… F.u. Weaver It’s alright, Jack. No offense taken. Jasper bellows. In the background, Chad and the Cowboys try to shove Babe through the corral gate, struggling and slipping in muck, mud and manure. Jack and the girls laugh. continued
64 continued 64 Jack Let’s get Jasper out of there. It was a dusty ride. I bet he could use a drink. f.u. weaver And so could I! I’ll see you good folks later on at the judging. sally You can watch Jasper win a blue ribbon! F.U. Weaver has a good belly laugh. f.u. weaver I sure like that little girl’s spunk! A couple of illegals leap out of the way as the limousine makes its quick and dusty exit.
65 EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/rodeo – day 65 horses are nervous. cowboys are having a hard time handling fiesty animals. a huge bull refuses to cooperate as a rider preps for the release of the gate. The ANNOUNCER greets the jacketed crowd that has packed the stands: announcer Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the fiftieth annual Bull County Rodeo. I know it’s a little chilly for this time of year and we appreciate y’all coming out. This year we’re proud to feature some of the finest riders in the state. First out the chute is Bill Collins from Longwood, Florida!
66 EXT rodeo/stall – day 66 Bill Collins is hanging on for dear life even before his ride begins. bill This son of a bitch is crazy! continued 66 continued 66 cowboy assistant That’s why you make the four figures. The Assistant removes his cowboy belt and cinches it around the bull’s testicles. He gives a ferocious yank. The bull bellows and goes insane. The gate slams open. Bill Collins is on his face before the bull even steps out.
67 EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/rodeo – day 67 The Crowd enjoys the spectacle. announcer I think we have a new world record folks: one-tenth of one nano-second! Bill Collins meekly dusts himself off before retreating to the cowboy dugout. The RODEO CLOWN climbs the corral fence to get away from the angry bull. Just as he bends over to flop to the other side, the bull rams his horn into his ass and lifts him over his head. The Crowd cringes at the scene as the bull trots around the arena with his trophy. The Rodeo Clown has passed out. An OLD GRIZZLED COWBOY comments: old grizzled cowboy I’ve seen that before but it wasn’t by accident! The bull tosses the Clown to the ground who comes to and rolls beneath the fence to safety. A PAIR of COWBOYS ENTERS the arena with ropes. They lasso the bull who drags them around the arena. More COWBOYS rush in to assist.
68 int BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/judging tent – day 68 JUDGES are going from stall to stall looking over fine specimens. continued 68 continued 68 judge 1 Seems like all our cattle are much larger this year, wouldn’t you say? judge 2 It seems to be a trend. Calves are born so large these days they all have to be delivered Caesarian. judge 1 Isn’t it incredible what science has done for us? They move to Jasper’s stall where Jack, Sally and Amanda all stand proudly. judge 1 And who does this fine animal belong to? He gives Sally a broad grin. judge 1 As if I didn’t know. Hello, Sally. Hello, Jack. sally Hey. jack How’re you, Bill? How’s Ethel? He looks over Jasper’s muscle structure. Firmly pats his flanks. judge 1 She’s doing just fine, Jack. Now that she’s finished all those dag-burn operations. He raises Jaspers upper lip to check his teeth. Jasper’s gums are oozing puss around a pair of teeth that appear to be short canines. The Judge jumps back in surprise.
continued 68 continued 68 judge 1 My goodness! Sally What is it? judge 1 (To Judge 2) Look at this! He raises Jasper’s lip once more. The canine teeth seem to have grown slightly longer. Judge 2 Smells horrible! jack That’s Weaver Feed. It’s the worst. I gag every time I’m near it. Judge 2 touches Jasper’s gums. amanda How long has he been like this, Sally? Sally looks horrified. Sally This is the first time he’s ever had this. I would know if he had a problem. amanda Well, he needs to be treated right away. I have something in my bag in the truck. I’ll go get it. Jack pulls out his keys and hands them to her. jack Here. I’ll stay here with Sally. Can you find the truck? amanda How hard can it be? Sally calms Jasper as the Judges thoroughly inspect every part.
69 EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/parking lot – day 69 The parking lot is packed with pickup trucks, all them looking alike: old and rusted out. She walks through the maze searching every row. She looks up at the parking lot symbols: Sheep, pigs, cows, horses, chickens. Suddenly, a PAIR of DRUNKEN VAQUEROS appear: vaquero 1 Hey, senorita! Are you lost? Do you need some help? Vaquero 2 staggers as he swaggers: vaquero 2 Si, senorita! Ayuda me por favor! Amanda keeps her composure as Vaquero 2 rubs against her spilling his drink. vaquero 2 Te amo! vaquero 1 He loves you! amanda No, I’m not lost. My vehicle is just right over there. And it is. She makes a mad dash, fumbling with the keys as she runs. The vaqueros enjoy a good chase. Amanda zigzags between vehicles, momentarily confusing their drunken minds. She reaches the truck and jumps in and locks the doors just as they reach her. The vaqueros bang on the windows, taunting her. vaquero 2 Hola, senorita! Te quiero! Te quiero! She reaches into the glove box and grabs Jack’s pistol. She holds it up and expertly cocks it. She aims through the glass directly at Vaquero 2’s face: continued
69 continued 69 amanda Okay. Back off, asshole. The vaqueros immediately back off and in perfect English lacking accent: vaquero 2 Hey, girl! Take it easy! We were just playin’! amanda I’m not kidding. I’ll shoot your asses! Now leave. They back away, walking in reverse. Vaquero 1 Damn, you’re one bad-ass gringa! vaquero 2 Yeah, I love you! She jumps out of the truck and levels the weapon on them. Amanda Move! They take off running. She packs the pistol into her vet bag.
70 int BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/judging tent 70 Amanda rushes in with bag in hand. Jasper is contentedly eating away at a fresh helping of feed. Amanda How is he? sally He’s fine now. Look. She raises Jasper’s upper lip. All appears completely normal. sally All he needed was Weaver Cattle Feed. That’s the best medicine around. continued
70 continued 70 Amanda raises Jasper’s lip for a look for herself. jack There’s something very strange about that Weaver Cattle Feed. amanda I sent a sample to the school to have it analyzed. She probes a little further. Jasper wants to go back to eating and forces his head from her grip. Sally pats her pet gently between the horns as he hungrily devours his food. The Judges reappear with ribbons in hand. They present Sally with a blue one. Judge 1 In recognition for the most unusual bull in Bull County, I bestow on you this blue ribbon. Sally beams with pleasure. Sally Thank you. Strobes flash as she poses for the local paper. jack I’m proud of you, honey. amanda So am I. F.U. Weaver shows appears with a blue ribbon attached to his lapel. f.u. weaver Ol’ Babe didn’t do too bad either. He proudly extends his lapel with his thumb. F.u. Weaver First in show! continued
70 continued 70 jack Congratulations, F.U. You deserve it. f.u. weaver I attribute it a lot of careful breeding, research, science, and Weaver Cattle Feed! amanda Exactly what are the ingredients in Weaver Cattle Feed? He hands her a Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feedbrochure. F.u. weaver Everything you need to know is right in there, honey. My product will bring an end to starvation in the world. He reaches inside his jacket for more brochures. f.u. weaver Here, pass a few around. You’ll be doing the public some good. He receives a urgent chirp on his Nextel. Chad (Radio V.O.) Boss?!! f.u. weaver Ya’ll have to excuse me, I’ve gotta go take care of some boss business! He walks away cussing into the phone.
71 EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/midway – night 71 cotton candy and tacos. rodeo clowns. mechanical bulls. rugged cowboys upside-down on roller coasters, screaming like little girls. Sheriff cooter and his deputies strut from attraction to attraction. continued
71 continued 71 Jack, Amanda and Sally stroll through the excitement and confusion. Sally holds Amanda’s hand and an over-sized Teddy bear. Jack So, where did you learn to shoot like that, Amanda? Sally proudly holds up the bear. sally She shoots better than you, Daddy. jack Yeah. Yeah. You already said that. amanda A lot of rabbit hunting back in Texas. jack A woman after my own heart… sally Really, Daddy? Jack Just an expression, little girl, don’t get excited… She laughs as they continue down the midway. Amanda It’s chilly tonight. Jack There’s a freeze warning. The orange growers are in a tizzy. They’ll be burning the tires tonight… Amanda snuggles a little closer for warmth.
72 EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/dance hall tent – night 72 They ENTER a tent a where pair of cowboy-shirted, Wrangler-wearing white boys are belting out a rap song up on stage. The AUDIENCE isn’t quite sure of the dance step. continued 72 continued 72 sally I love this song! jack This is a song? Suddenly, a loose pig dashes across the stage getting tangled in cables and knocking over lights as it runs in circles. The audience thinks this is part of the act and laughs as the cowboy rappers try to continue their act in the middle of the mayhem. Their performance is drowned out by screams as Bossie rips through the sidewall of the tent and stops to snort and stamp. Her eyes are glowing red and green fluorescent cud drools from her blood-smeared lips. bossie Moo. The audience is at first unsure then decides to scatter, bumping into each other and knocking down tent poles. sally Daddy! It’s Bossie! jack Bossie’s dead, Sally! Bossie rears up on hind legs and begins firing green milk from her udders in Gatlin gun fashion. Victims of her dousing scream as acid milk burns their flesh. Jack grabs Sally and slings her over his shoulder. sally What about Jasper, Daddy? jack I’ll come back for him. sally Promise? jack I promise… They dodge falling poles and flying chairs as he rushes them outside.
73 EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/midway – night 73 The midway is filled with crazed confused people. Shots are fired. Stands and tents are sent crashing down by stampeding people followed by a stampeding herd. Jack looks for a way out. He spots a row of carnival trailers. jack This way! Hurry! They jump out of the way of the onrushing crowd and take off for the trailers.
74 int BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/jasper’s stall – night 74 A STALL ATTENDANT lays face-down in the hay. Massive portions of his flesh have been removed. Jasper rushes out for his share of carnage. Jasper chews the top wooden rail and leaps over the top to freedom.
75 ext BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/carnival trailers – night 75 Jack and the girls cut between two trailers and crouch down. POV: the fair has turned to madness. Fires are breaking out. Drunken Cowboys are firing off shots.
76 EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/ferris wheel – night 76 Two COWBOYS with rifles jump into a seat side by side. Their BUDDY pushes a lever into gear. ANGLE: as they rise, the Cowboys are taking pot shots at the crazed cattle below.
77 EXT BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/midway – night 77 Bossie stumbles momentarily when a bullet catches her. continued 77 continued 77 She looks up and spots her attacker high in the Ferris wheel seat. She makes her charge. She is joined by other cattle as she runs. A bloody-lipped calf bawls for its lost mother.
78 ext BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/carnival trailers – night 78 Sally gasps as she watches the Ferris wheel roll a few revolutions down the midway and topple to its side. COWBOYS are thrown from a Ferris wheel seat to the top of a tent. They slide to their deaths beneath trampling hooves. A pair of cows is at the edge of the fairgrounds, eyeing the trailers and sniffing the air. The cows start their charge: jack We’ve got to get to the truck, now! The cows are nearly upon them. They jump up to run. The trailer is rammed by a set of barbed, jagged horns and is knocked to its side. Jack, Sally and Amanda race across the field. A cow sniffs the abandoned Teddy bear.
79 ext BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/parking lot – night 79 The cows are chasing them at breakneck speed. Amanda reaches into her bag as she runs and pulls out the pistol. She spins and fires. The bullet bounces off the skull of a demon cow with a shower of sparks. The cow stumbles and falls. jack What are you doing with that? She re-aims… continued
79 continued 79 amanda I had a little trouble earlier… …and fires and the other cow is no longer a threat. amanda …but I took care of it. JACK I can see that! In the background: all hell is breaking loose. A panicked crowd exits through the fair gates, spreading out in all directions with Sheriff Cooter and his boys leading the pack. Fires light the night. A spotted Holstein stands on the back of a passing fire truck. Cattle leap over turnstiles, nipping at the flesh of those trapped against steel barriers. Screams of terror are drowned out by constant mooing. Cows tip over pickup trucks as terrified cowboys try to drive from the parking lot. A GROUP OF COWS stand nose to nose with Bossie in a huddle, planning an attack. jack C’mon! Let’s get out of here! He turns, looking for his truck. Amanda Follow me! She takes off. Sally is close on her heels. Jack Wait! I don’t think the truck is… He tries to catch up. The cows that Amanda shot are standing and shaking it off. They snort and sniff the air for human flesh.
80 int jack’s pickup – night 80 Jack turns the ignition and slams the truck in reverse, nearly smashing into a panicked cowboy. continued 80 continued 80 He works his way out of the parking lot, dodging cattle and people and pickup trucks. jack We’ve got do to something! He pulls out his phone and punches in a number with his thumb. jack (Into phone) Hello, Phil? Jack Farnswood here… I want you to get every cowboy in this county over at my place ASAP! He has to swerve to miss yet another cow in the road. jack (Continuing) Yes, that’s right. Anyone that can ride a horse get over there now! We’re going to have a round-up! He pauses to slam the brakes. A nearby cow trots to his stopped truck. He punches the gas and swings the truck around stopped vehicles, smoking tires. jack You heard me right! I’ll be there in an hour.
81 ext BULL COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS/parking lot – night 81 A cow that rears up, showing her fangs and tries to block Jack’s exit. He slams into her and she lands in a ditch on temporarily dazed.
82 int jack’s pickup – night 82 He looks over his shoulder at the ditched cow. The cow rises, shakes her head, and tries to catch up with his truck. continued
82 continued 82 sally We’re going to round up all the crazy cows, Daddy? jack Hold on, honey. I’ve got to make another call… He punches in another number. jack Hey, Sarge! This is Jack. I need a favor… Amanda places her hand on his arm and moves a little closer. Sally notices with a small smile.
83 ext bull county road – night 83 Jack’s pickup barrels down the country road. Fence posts are knocked over. Barb wire litters the highway. Every head of cattle in Bull County is out wandering around. Jack is dodges them left and right. A semi-trailer cattle carrier lies on its side with its side-gates torn open in shreds. Escaped cattle munch on the Chauffeurs remains pushing and shoving and fighting for the tasty parts of a human being. Freezing drizzle starts to form.
84 INT WKOW TV NEWSROOM – EVENING 84 Deena Concepcion Langley, wrapping up the evening news, introduces RANDY SKYEZ, WKOW weather man. deena And now, after that bit of strange news, we have our ever-charming weather blitz expert, Randy Skyez. Randy isn’t nearly as charming as Deena lets on: continued
84 continued 84 RANDY SKYEZ Hey, y’all. Well, you better dig out your old goose down underwear tonight, folks, ‘cause it’s going to be a cold one! The screen behind him flashes the forecasted freezing temperatures. randy skyez Do you own a set of goose down underwear, Deena? The camera cuts to Deena. She quickly composes from a scowl. deena In your dreams, Randy. Back to Randy: randy Ooo… thanks for the visual, Deena. That I didn’t need. Into camera: randy How low will we go? Right after this: A scrambled screen dissolves into freezing rain.
85 EXT Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feed plant - night 85 Jack pulls up to a locked gate. He gets out of his truck and shakes the gate. There’s no way to break the massive lock. He notices F.U. Weaver’s limousine parked at the dock. He shouts into the night: jack F.U.!! He jumps back into the truck and backs up, ready to ram the gate.
86 int jack’s pickup - night 86 Jack revs up the engine, pushes in the clutch and grinds it into first. Sally tightens her seatbelt. amanda What are we doing here? Jack Weaver Cattle Feed. Hang on! amanda No wait! Jack What? amanda (to Sally) Trade places with me, honey. sally Okay. jack Now what? Sally takes off her seat belt and climbs over Amanda. Amanda slides next to the passenger door. She reaches to the floor board for her bag and takes out the pistol. jack Oh, no. She rolls down her window, leans out and fires a shot. The lock drops to concrete and the gate slowly swings open. amanda Now you won’t scratch your paint. jack Quit showing off. Roll the window back up. It’s cold in here. sally Wow, Daddy! She’s way much better than… jack Don’t say it. The girls laugh as he pulls slowly through the gate being careful not to scratch his rusted-out farm truck. 87 EXT Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feed plant - night 87 Jack backs up to the dock and gets out. jack Y’all wait here. I’ll find Weaver. He goes up the dock ramp and pushes a button on an intercom speaker mounted next to a roll up door. F.U. Weaver answers. f.u. Weaver Who is it? jack Jack Farnswood! f.u. weaver Jack? Hold on… In the background: Bossie meanders in through the open gate, unseen. There is a jangle of keys and F.U. Weaver raises the overhead door. He tries to find the switch to the dock lights. Close up: he pushes the switch to start the conveyor belt in motion. Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feed starts flowing into the drying bin at the end of the line. f.u. weaver What the hell?!! He finally finds the right switch. He sees Jack. f.u. weaver Jack? What are you doing here? He tries to shut down the machinery but can’t find the off switch. f.u. weaver Oh the hell with it. Let it run. We’re behind quota anyway. What do you want, Jack? In the background, F.U.’s CHAUFFEUR HURRIEDLY EXITS his office with an armload of briefcases so full of money, bills are falling out. He freezes at the sight of Jack. continued 87 continued 87 jack Going somewhere, F.U.? f.u. weaver You know me. I have business all over the state. And what’s your business? jack I just need a truckload of feed. f.u. weaver Is that all? I’m always happy to accommodate a good customer. He opens a key lock box mounted on the dock wall and hands Jack a key. f.u. weaver Look here. You go down there to the end of the lot to that block building. Take all you need. He points to the noisy machinery behind him. F.U. weaver There’s plenty more where that came from. I’ll just bill you next month’s bill. No charge for after hours. jack Thanks, F.U. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a wad of bills and forces them into F.U.’s hand. jack But I’ll pay now. Add this to your collection. He gives a nod to the Chauffeur who drops yet another wad of bills. Jack goes back to his truck. F.U. goes back to the switches. He succeeds in shutting off the dock light but causes yet another overhead door to open. f.u. weaver Oh, the hell with it! continued 87 continued 87 He turns to the Chauffeur who is standing there still, dropping money on the floor, and further irritating him. f.u. weaver What are you doing standing there? Get back in there and repack my money! Chauffeur There’s too much boss… f.u. weaver Then put it in a feed sack, for God’s sake. Why do I have to think of everything around here? Chauffeur ‘Cause you’re the boss, boss. F.U. pulls out a fat cigar. He looks over his domain, proud of the machines that make him money. F.u. weaver You’re right. I am. So move your ass. I want to leave in ten minutes. f.u. weaver You got it, boss. The Chauffeur moves his ass. F.U. scratches his and starts to walk around the plant.
88 EXT Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feed plant/parking lot - night 88 A small herd has gathered with Bossie in the parking lot. The scent of Weaver’s Blue leads them one by one up the ramp.
89 int jack’s pickup - night 89 Sally catches sight of the column of cattle making its way up the ramp. sally Daddy! Look! Jack turns around. continued
89 continued 89 jack We’ve got to hurry! Come on! Y’all help! amanda What about Mr. Weaver? They jump out of the truck. Jack goes to unlock the padlock.
90 EXT Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feed plant/parking lot - night 90 Jack opens the storage door. The feed is piled high. jack He’s alright. He’s probably in his office counting money by now. Besides, he owns a whole plant of Weaver’s Blue. That’s all they want. I just want to get out of here before they find this little stash. sally It stinks so bad! jack Well, just hold your nose and let’s get to work. Drop the gate and jump up in the bed. Sally is surprisingly strong and able to keep pace, stacking the sacks nice and neat.
91 int Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feed plant - night 91 F.U. Weaver is wandering around his plant. He is fascinated with the motions of equipment going through the processes of creating the feed that bears his name. He stands amazed at the precision of the robotic arm that automatically unzips body bags, dropping the rotting bodies into exactly the right spot. He is hypnotized by the rhythm of the blades that slowly slice the bodies into tiny parts, a slice at a time. continued
91 continued 91 In the background, cattle trot closer. They move quicker as they get nearer to the source of that wonderful aroma. F.U. senses motion behind him and turns just as Bossie knocks him into the churning vat of gooey Weaver’s Blue. He screams as blades slowly pass and slice off pieces of his body one part at a time. First a hand. Then an ear. Cows hang their heads into the vat and eat their fill, dodging the blade as it passes. From the rear of a large heifer, the partially-eaten face of F.U. Weaver is expelled and plops to the floor.
92 EXT Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feed plant/parking lot - night 92 The girls are already sitting in the cab. Jack slams the tail gate shut and jumps into the truck. He squeals tires out of the parking lot with a truck piled high with Weaver Cattle Feed.
93 int Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feed plant/office - night 93 The Chauffeur hears a loud moo. He looks up confused. Suddenly the walls of the office are crashing down. The Chauffeur is knocked to the floor. Cattle step through the wreckage to satisfy their craving for flesh. The terrified Chauffeur tries to scoot back from them, sliding across the floor on his butt. His legs are the first to go.
94 EXT Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feed plant/parking lot - night 94 A few head have discovered the feed storage building. The building teeters then crashes as a massive milk cow pushes her girth through the small door. The cattle kick wood and concrete aside as they dig through the rubble for the feed buried beneath.
95 EXT Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feed plant/highway – night 95 The moon shines brightly on a cold crisp night. A flock of geese are heading south. Bossie leads a line of bloody-mouthed cattle that walk single file down the wrong side of the road.
96 EXT FARNSWOOD FARM/BARN YARD - night 96 Every cowboy for a hundred miles has shown up for Jack’s roundup. Their anxious horses are unloaded from trailers and saddled. Honey Babe dodges hooves and yaps at the excitement. Amanda and Sally are in the background passing out bags of Weaver Cattle Feed. Sheriff Cooter and Jack have a conference: Sheriff Cooter I don’t know why you didn’t call me on this first! I’m the law around here! Jack I did, but you were too busy hauling ass out of the fairgrounds! Suddenly, a pair of National Guard helicopters appears overhead, further exciting the horses. Cowboys grip tightened reins as the choppers lower to the ground. Two SQUADS of PARATROOPERS EXIT THE CRAFT and line up in formation, standing ready. Sergeant Cantrell runs up to Jack with CAPTAIN RICHARD CODY, company commander. Jack and the Sergeant exchange handshakes and slaps on the shoulder. SGT. Cantrell Jack, this is Captain Cody. This is his third day back home from country. Jack considers it an honor. He gives a solid handshake. continued
96 continued 96 captain cody I’ll leave these two squads of men under your orders. You know the terrain and you have the plan. You can split them up anyway you see fit. sheriff cooter Excuse me, there, lieutenant. I believe you boys are stepping into my jurisdiction. Deputy Chuck walks up with radio squawking. captain cody The United States is my jurisdiction. deputy chuck He’s got you there, Sheriff. Sheriff Cooter puts his arm around the deputy’s shoulder and leads him away. sheriff cooter When I’m in a conversation, you need to wait your turn. Now… where’s your brother? deputy chuck I don’t know. I ain’t seen hide or tail of him… They head toward the Sheriff’s cruiser. Deputy Chuck tries to wipe dog mess from his shoe as he walks across the lawn. Honey Babe smiles at the mess he’s made. In the background: fire trucks and Humvees are added to the mix. captain cody As I was saying, we’ll take the choppers and lead you to the herd. Sgt. Cantrell will be in constant radio contact. We have traps and nets in our equipment. You can set them up in strategic points and we’ll airlift what we can’t herd in. continued 96 continued 96 jack I like it. Let’s do it! The Captain rushes back to the choppers. Dust blows and they’re gone. Jack calls for attention from his volunteers. Only a few take notice. The Sergeant passes him a megaphone. jack You guys think of everything. Sergeant Cantrell Airborne! Jack accidently pushes the siren button on the megaphone. He is immediately noticed. jack (Into megaphone) Sorry… I know it’s cold out here tonight so I’m going to make this short and sweet. The plan is simple: once we locate the herd, we’re going to take Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feed and make a trail that will lead them to a steel-reinforced corral. A COWBOY raises his hand. Cowboy Where is this steel-reinforced corral? Jack We’re going to put that together while we wait for the herd to be spotted. cowboy We have time for a project like that? jack With all these god damn cowboys we have out here tonight? Please! The other COWBOYS wouldn’t have asked such a question. continued
96 continued 96 cowboy Then what? I’ve seen them myself. We ain’t gonna be able to control them once they get hungry, that’s for damn sure. COWBOY 2 speaks up: cowboy 2 You got that right! Those sons of bitches will eat right through a piece of steel. I’ve seen ‘em do it! Jack nudges Amanda up front. The Cowboys like what they see. Whoops and whistles. jack That’s why we have Dr. Hollingsworth here. She is going to sedate them and keep them that way… Cowboy 2 isn’t quite convinced. cowboy 2 I beg your pardon, miss, but how in the hell are you going to drug all these demon cows? They’ll tear you apart. She gives a big smile. amanda I was hoping you’d ask… Pete McIntosh and a crew of nerds from Seminole College appear loaded down with Hudson sprayers and towing a large wind fan. amanda My research team in Seminole College did a chemical breakdown on Weaver’s Blue Cattle Feed and developed what we hope will counteract the aggressive behavior in your cattle. It won’t last forever but at least it’ll calm them for a while. Pete McIntosh gives a couple of long strokes on the pump handle. 97 EXT FARNSWOOD FARM/corral - night 97 MONTAGE: Jack leads the team as they unload steel rails from the back of an Army truck. A group sets welding equipment along the fence line. A generator is fired up and sparks are flying. Amanda and Sally work with another group strapping on feed bags across the backs up nervous horses. Honey Babe has yapped himself to sleep in the middle of all the commotion. Sgt. Cantrell receives a report on his radio: sgt. cantrell (Into radio) Yes, sir. I will pass along that information. He pulls out a map and shows it to Jack. In the background: the corral has been constructed and equipment is being stowed away. Jack pulls out the megaphone. jack Okay! Let’s mount up! The Cowboys whoop it up as they jump on the backs of their horses. Jack approaches Amanda and Sally. jack You mind holding down the fort until I get back. amanda Of course not. Amanda approaches close to Jack. amanda You be careful, okay?
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97 continued 97 jack Okay. He looks at her for a couple of seconds then decides to go for it. Their lingering kiss receives cheers from the Cowboys. Sally smiles happily. They part and Jack is embarrassed but quickly recovers: jack Okay! Let’s go get ‘em! cowboy Looks like you just did!
The Cowboys laugh. Now Amanda is also embarrassed. Jack mounts up and spurs horseflesh. Riders follow him into the nearby swamp.
98 ext swamp – night 98 The choppers do a flyover shining spotlights down through the trees. A single file line of cattle trudges through the muck to a grassy clearing.
99 int helicopter – night 99 Through NIGHT VISION EQUIPMENT: The herd gathers in the middle of the clearing. Radio transmissions blare: pilot Roger that. Twenty-eight point oh seven north, and eighty point forty-one west. He continues to circle the area.
100 ext swamp – night 100 Jack and Sgt. Cantrell consult a map. The sergeant indicates the position continued 100 continued 100 sergeant cantrell Right here… jack Okay. I know exactly where it is. We’re ten minutes away. He turns his horse and takes off down the trail. Suddenly, his horse stops and refuses to continue. The other horses fidget and backup. A Rider is thrown to the ground. His horse runs away. jack It’s no use. He dismounts. jack We’re going to have to walk in. They tie up their horses and move deeper into the swamp with sacks of feed heaved over their shoulders.
101 ext swamp/clearing – night 101 Bossie raises her head and sniffs the night air. With a snort she trots off into the swamp.
102 int helicopter – night 102 The spotlight illuminates the lone cow as she moves through the swamp. Another pair has taken up the scent and follow. The light pans across treetops and stops on Jack’s slow-moving crew. pilot (Into radio) You’ve got some beef headed toward you, Sergeant… The trio of cows is picking up speed. continued 102 continued 102 pilot …and it looks like they mean business! More cattle leave the herd move into the swamp.
103 ext swamp – night 103 Jack and his boys are knee-deep in muck and mud, hacking through dense growth. sergeant cantrell (Into radio) Roger that! (He turns to Jack) We got get the hell outta here! They’re headed this way! The Cowboys are ready to run and a couple of them do. jack Okay, wait! We’ve got to keep our heads. They’ve picked up the scent of the feed, so let’s make our trail, one sack at a time. Starting right here. He takes out his knife, slices open the sack and pours a line of feed on the ground. Sgt. Cantrell follows suit. The Cowboys and Soldiers empty sacks, drawing a line in the direction of the corral, moving as fast as they can. The crew freezes at the sound of a scream. Jack Let’s move! They do. And another scream.
104 ext swamp/dense area – night 104 A silhouette of a RUNAWAY COWBOY attached to Bossie’s horns with a FULL MOON in the background. She gives a proud moo.
105 EXT FARNSWOOD FARM/corral - night 105 Jack’s crew appears at the edge of the wood line running for their lives. Jack is the last in line, trying to make the feed stretch the rest of the way to the corral. sally There they are! Amanda Sally, run to the house! sally I want to watch! amanda You can watch from the window. Hurry! The little girl runs as fast as she can. Deputy Chuck dashes to his cruiser, jumps in, and locks the door. The herd appears and Jack runs into the enclosure, spilling the line of feed behind him. The entire herd follows him in and the gate is slammed and secured. Jack barely makes it over the fence to safety. The herd is pissed. They roar as they ram against the steel causing it to shudder. Their eyes flash with anger and frustration. sergeant cantrell (To Jack) You think it’ll hold? jack I don’t know for how long… In the background: the choppers make a descent. Amanda is ready with her crew. Jack Okay, Doctor. Do your thing.
continued 105 continued 105 amanda Everyone in this area will have to wear these masks. Pete McIntosh hurriedly starts passing them around. Cowboys remove their hats, secure their masks, and replace their hats. Amanda Turn on the fans! The fans have been position in strategic points around the corral. They blow across the backs of the cattle. Amanda’s STUDENTS stand ready with sprayers and prayers. She raises her arm then drops it. A mist of Amanda’s concoction settles over the cattle. They start to settle down, one by one. Their eyes lose their fiery flow. Fangs retreat. Jack is in the background, directing fire trucks in position next to the corral. The herd has calmed. Fans are disconnected and masks are removed. amanda (To Jack) I’m not sure how long they’ll stay like this, maybe only a few minutes. Do what you have to do, now. Jasper bellows from the edge of the fence. Bossie stands at his side; back to her old self. Jack Bossie and Jasper! I sure hate to put them down. amanda I’d like to take them to my research center. Maybe we can find a cure. Sally can visit them there. Sally approaches carrying a small stuffed toy bull.
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105 continued 105 sally Could I?!! amanda Of course, you can… jack Anytime you like. Bossie is removed from the corral. Soldiers strap her to a harness attached to the helicopter. Sally pats her head and says her goodbyes. Sheriff Cooter approaches. Sheriff cooter Okay. You’ve got the herd. Now what! jack Now we put them in deep freeze! He turns to the FIRE CHIEF: jack Ready? The Chief is more than ready. fire chief Just give the word! jack Okay, Chief. Hose them down! Fire hoses completely soak the animals. They huddle tightly trying to stay warm. Ice begins to form on their coats. Their nostrils become clogged. Spittle hangs in ice sickles from their lips. The mooing slows and stops. The herd has become a solid chunk of frozen beef. Cowboys throw their hats into the air in jubilation. Jack lifts Amanda from her feet as they swing around and kiss. Sally jumps up and down in glee, clapping her hands. continued 105 continued 105 In the background: Bossie is lifted into the air. Sally waves goodbye to her old friend. Bossie moos at a full moon.
106 ext swamp – night 106 The chopper appears over a line of trees and flies low over a small lake. Suddenly a huge gator leaps from the water and tries to snatch Bossie with open jaws. As the gator comes up, Bossie reaches down and clamps its head in her jaws. As the chopper continues to the horizon, Bossie spits out the gator and sends it crashing into the swamp. dissolve to:
107 int bully burger restaurant – six months later/day 107 Jack and Amanda hold hands sitting at the table. They sport new wedding bands. Sally sits opposite, devouring a triple-decker Bully Burger. Jack notices her appetite. jack I’ve never seen tear up a burger like that, Sally. It must be a good one… She looks up from her burger and smiles. Her canine teeth seem a little longer than normal and have a slight, greenish glow. the end
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